Monday, May 14, 2012

A fine line

 A fine line

There is a fine line between someone you can trust and someone you can't, As far as sex offender are concern some people think none can be trusted. Until you know someone who is a sex offender or it’s you. That is when you understand there is a different. Some of these people just don’t want to trust someone who has made a mistake. I wish to tell those people. 
“I hope a love one never misses up, if you can’t forgive someone, and then you are destined to live alone.

I have met a lot of sex offenders, in person and online. If you are a sex offender or your love one is and you are in this fight with me, then you see the wrong with the system. You truly believe that you have paid your price and you won’t do it again. If I don't met you but a love one of your believes in you, then so do I.  I just don’t understand why other don’t believe in you also. 

We need more people like me, a person who is willing to over look what you did and give you a second chance. 

I was thinking the other day. (I know, I could hurt myself by doing that) When I was a kid, if I did something I wasn’t suppose to do that. I got spanked. I learned real quickly not to that again. As I grow up, I would have been in real trouble with my parents. They would set me down and tell me what I did wrong. As a child you never want to have your parents mad at you. When I became a teenager, I would get my car taken away. (If they found out (wink) but I learned. It didn’t take me a day to learn this lesson, or weeks, or months or even years. Just someone pointing it out to me was enough.

 “Hey don’t do that you could get hurt, or “as parents we don’t want you doing that…etc”

So why is it that when we have young people messing up for the first time. Get sent to prison for years? Now I’m not saying that my son should NOT have gone to prison. (I will say that the two night he spend in county jail was enough to knock the devil out of him) If I say anyone who views underage porn should only get 2 nights in jail. My house would be torched. 
 Why can’t we give people the help they need? 
How many times do I have to say that?

Someone who does drugs is messing up their life, unless they sell it. Someone who drinks, unless they hurt or kill someone. Then maybe send that person to prison for life. Underage porn~ some will argue on the victims. I understand that.

What is the different between doing drug and looking at pictures? 
If you do drugs (look at porn)~ you never sell drugs (porn), you don’t make the drugs (porn), and you just use the drugs (porn).

 If you get caught with drugs ~ you get a short sentence or just a fine. Look at porn and you get 5 years or more.  
 Now if you sell the porn (drugs), take the pictures of the porn (make the drugs). Now to me this is bad. I know I will have someone tell them that is like comparing apple to oranges.. 
Is it really? I don’t think so.

Did you know there are over 200 ways to comment sex crimes? Makes you wonder if you have already commented one and didn’t know it. 
When was the last time you peed in public? I was Geocaching with my husband when I needed to go. When you need to go, you need to go. I did it out in the woods where no one saw me. I guess someone could have. I would never know unless they choose to turn me in for public nudity. That person could send me to prison or just giggle and wave. 

 A lot of sex crimes are the same way. What we would have overlooked years ago, we looked at different now.

 How many of us had sex with someone under the age of 18? Well don't ask me. I'll never tell. So many of our young adult do. All it takes is a ex-girl friend, a,  parents who does not approve of the relationship. Now back in my day. My parents would of talked to me about the boy. (and they did)  but they did not call the cops on him. So why are we now? Some don't realize the consequences of what will happen to the young man.


I have a pen pal who has told me he is a pedophile. I have learned a lot from him. Before you go on to tell me how a pedophile can wiggle their way into your heart and make you think they are cured. Well I don’t have an answer to that. 
He is a smart man. He is the same ages as me. What he did to get into prison, was not by touching a child. It was a 17 year old boy. Too me, that different. He has been in prison for 22 years. He has told me he loves kids. He has always been that way. He knows it’s wrong, and has never acted on it. He has been in all kinds of help group before he got sent to prison.

 I have read a lot on this subject so that I can understand the different between a sex offender and a pedophile. A 2012 study from CT found a 2.7 % re-offending rates for Sex offenders. A pedophile has a rate of ~well the statistics does not show that. Why? All sex crimes are under one crime. 
If I was to guess~ I would say that a pedophile is about the whole 2.7% And the sex offender who crimes are just one time mistake is 0%.

 But hey no one has asked me. 

I would also like to point out the different. Between a true pedophile and a person who made a very bad choose.  I do know some Sex offender that would be class as a pedophile. They have touched their own child. I am not sure as to why they did this. After talking to some, I don’t have answers as I have never asked.
 Since I have talk to some of these men, they give me the sense they have learn to hold back those urges. 
Do I think they need help? Yes.   
Are they getting any? NO 
They are setting in prison wasting away. Wanted to go home to their family who are waiting for them. This lets me know, that if the family wants them back home, they have forgiven the man.
 So why can’t the rest of us.

A true Pedophile~ someone who does not care if they ever change, Someone who want to harm a child and has over and over again. A person who can’t be change. I don’t want to say that this person needs to be lock up for life, yes and no. I think it would be better to lock them up in a mental hospital. There is a group in Canada studying pedophile. Like them, I think they are born this way. Just like someone who is born gay. You can’t change how they are but you can over look that they are not that much different then you are. They just want to “love” someone that you can’t seem to wrap your head around. I don’t have a problem with someone being gay. Yes I do have a problem with someone who wants to harm and love a child. At the same time, if this study come back saying they are wired that way. Then I can understand. I’m not saying that since they are wired that way they should be let lose in our society. I am not saying, that we should over look this like we have done with gays. Since we can’t fix it and it is wired into them. 

Should we lock them up for being them self?

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