Monday, May 14, 2012

A fine line

 A fine line

There is a fine line between someone you can trust and someone you can't, As far as sex offender are concern some people think none can be trusted. Until you know someone who is a sex offender or it’s you. That is when you understand there is a different. Some of these people just don’t want to trust someone who has made a mistake. I wish to tell those people. 
“I hope a love one never misses up, if you can’t forgive someone, and then you are destined to live alone.

I have met a lot of sex offenders, in person and online. If you are a sex offender or your love one is and you are in this fight with me, then you see the wrong with the system. You truly believe that you have paid your price and you won’t do it again. If I don't met you but a love one of your believes in you, then so do I.  I just don’t understand why other don’t believe in you also. 

We need more people like me, a person who is willing to over look what you did and give you a second chance. 

I was thinking the other day. (I know, I could hurt myself by doing that) When I was a kid, if I did something I wasn’t suppose to do that. I got spanked. I learned real quickly not to that again. As I grow up, I would have been in real trouble with my parents. They would set me down and tell me what I did wrong. As a child you never want to have your parents mad at you. When I became a teenager, I would get my car taken away. (If they found out (wink) but I learned. It didn’t take me a day to learn this lesson, or weeks, or months or even years. Just someone pointing it out to me was enough.

 “Hey don’t do that you could get hurt, or “as parents we don’t want you doing that…etc”

So why is it that when we have young people messing up for the first time. Get sent to prison for years? Now I’m not saying that my son should NOT have gone to prison. (I will say that the two night he spend in county jail was enough to knock the devil out of him) If I say anyone who views underage porn should only get 2 nights in jail. My house would be torched. 
 Why can’t we give people the help they need? 
How many times do I have to say that?

Someone who does drugs is messing up their life, unless they sell it. Someone who drinks, unless they hurt or kill someone. Then maybe send that person to prison for life. Underage porn~ some will argue on the victims. I understand that.

What is the different between doing drug and looking at pictures? 
If you do drugs (look at porn)~ you never sell drugs (porn), you don’t make the drugs (porn), and you just use the drugs (porn).

 If you get caught with drugs ~ you get a short sentence or just a fine. Look at porn and you get 5 years or more.  
 Now if you sell the porn (drugs), take the pictures of the porn (make the drugs). Now to me this is bad. I know I will have someone tell them that is like comparing apple to oranges.. 
Is it really? I don’t think so.

Did you know there are over 200 ways to comment sex crimes? Makes you wonder if you have already commented one and didn’t know it. 
When was the last time you peed in public? I was Geocaching with my husband when I needed to go. When you need to go, you need to go. I did it out in the woods where no one saw me. I guess someone could have. I would never know unless they choose to turn me in for public nudity. That person could send me to prison or just giggle and wave. 

 A lot of sex crimes are the same way. What we would have overlooked years ago, we looked at different now.

 How many of us had sex with someone under the age of 18? Well don't ask me. I'll never tell. So many of our young adult do. All it takes is a ex-girl friend, a,  parents who does not approve of the relationship. Now back in my day. My parents would of talked to me about the boy. (and they did)  but they did not call the cops on him. So why are we now? Some don't realize the consequences of what will happen to the young man.


I have a pen pal who has told me he is a pedophile. I have learned a lot from him. Before you go on to tell me how a pedophile can wiggle their way into your heart and make you think they are cured. Well I don’t have an answer to that. 
He is a smart man. He is the same ages as me. What he did to get into prison, was not by touching a child. It was a 17 year old boy. Too me, that different. He has been in prison for 22 years. He has told me he loves kids. He has always been that way. He knows it’s wrong, and has never acted on it. He has been in all kinds of help group before he got sent to prison.

 I have read a lot on this subject so that I can understand the different between a sex offender and a pedophile. A 2012 study from CT found a 2.7 % re-offending rates for Sex offenders. A pedophile has a rate of ~well the statistics does not show that. Why? All sex crimes are under one crime. 
If I was to guess~ I would say that a pedophile is about the whole 2.7% And the sex offender who crimes are just one time mistake is 0%.

 But hey no one has asked me. 

I would also like to point out the different. Between a true pedophile and a person who made a very bad choose.  I do know some Sex offender that would be class as a pedophile. They have touched their own child. I am not sure as to why they did this. After talking to some, I don’t have answers as I have never asked.
 Since I have talk to some of these men, they give me the sense they have learn to hold back those urges. 
Do I think they need help? Yes.   
Are they getting any? NO 
They are setting in prison wasting away. Wanted to go home to their family who are waiting for them. This lets me know, that if the family wants them back home, they have forgiven the man.
 So why can’t the rest of us.

A true Pedophile~ someone who does not care if they ever change, Someone who want to harm a child and has over and over again. A person who can’t be change. I don’t want to say that this person needs to be lock up for life, yes and no. I think it would be better to lock them up in a mental hospital. There is a group in Canada studying pedophile. Like them, I think they are born this way. Just like someone who is born gay. You can’t change how they are but you can over look that they are not that much different then you are. They just want to “love” someone that you can’t seem to wrap your head around. I don’t have a problem with someone being gay. Yes I do have a problem with someone who wants to harm and love a child. At the same time, if this study come back saying they are wired that way. Then I can understand. I’m not saying that since they are wired that way they should be let lose in our society. I am not saying, that we should over look this like we have done with gays. Since we can’t fix it and it is wired into them. 

Should we lock them up for being them self?

Monday, May 7, 2012

My thought on the matter

My thought on the Matter. 
When do you come to the end? The end where you can't make any more law that will start taken away people right. When does that end? I say NOW.

Washington and the States keep passing laws that just don't make sense. "they" want to pass laws where you can't texting and drive., I get that, but texting is just ONE think that we should not be doing, How about NOT playing with the radio? I have been text driving new cars. Have you seem all the new bottoms on a new car?  How about when you just have so much on your mind that you zone out. Can we pass a law on that? How about you tell me that texting while driving COULD harm me. I will hear you and do what I want. If I want to text then I will, (I don't)  If I want to wear a seat-belt, or a helmet, If I want to put preparation H in my month, or put HOT coffee between my leg. Then let me do it. I know I could get hurt, and I guess texting might hurt someone else. I get that. But the Government is treating us like we are little kids that need to be told what to do. Well I'm tried of it!

Tennessee just passed a law where you can't hold hands, that might lead to sex and we can't have that now can we. So when does it end? 

A little boy in kindergarten can't wiggle or sing to "I'm sexy and I know it” without getting in trouble. Does he even understand why he got in trouble? I'm pretty sure he does not, but he does now and he is too young to be told why.

We have so many legislator wanted to make a name for them self, so they make up law to get them notice.  Case in point~ State Representative Jon Woods is now running for State Senate he has already come across as trying to make it tougher laws for sex offenders. We don’t need to be tougher on sex crimes when only 5% of them re-offended. 95% of sex crimes are commented by NON sex offender. So how can you make a law to protect kids against someone who has not been caught yet?  Parents need to educate their kids.

Which lead me to the Parents.

Parents think the laws are working. As Parents we have gone either two way. Real relax  or over the top. You either don't worry about you kid, Because you think the laws are out there to protect. Or you over protect, you wrap your kid in bubble wrap. You tell your kids so much that they are scared of their own shadow.  YOU need to watch who your kids hangs out with, Who is on their Facebook, Who are their friends. Why do they not like Coach Smith? You need to talk and find out.

 You don't want to give your young child too much information that might make them scared and take away their innocent. You do need to tell them that if someone touches them on their penis or vagina. You need to use the words not “inappropriate place". Kids might not understand that. 

1. Remind children: Safe grownups don't ask kids for help. They ask other grownups when they need assistance.
2. Replace the word “stranger” with the “tricker person””: It's not what someone looks like, it's what they say or want to do with a child that makes the person unsafe or “tricky.”
3. A tricky person can be someone you know well, don't know at all, or know just a little bit (mailman, ice cream man). Anyone who tries to get a child to break a safety rule or hurt a child is not okay.
4. Practice personal safety strategies with your kids. For example, practice what they should do if they are lost in a store. Teach them to freeze and yell or find a mom with children and ask her for help. What they should do or say if someone asked them for directions or asked for assistance.
5. Talk about “the uh-oh feeling”: Teach them to trust their instincts.
6. Establish a straightforward family rule: No secrets allowed, especially if it involves another adult.
7. Teach them they are the boss of their own bodies!
8. Teach them their name, address, and phone numbers (including cell phones), parents names.
9. Teach them to NEVER go anywhere or take ANYTHING from someone they do not know.
10. Teach them to “check first” with my safe grownups for permission before they go anywhere, change their plans, or get into a car, even when it is someone they know.
11. Teach them about private body parts and that no one should touch them their except for toileting or a doctor.
12. Teach them they do not have to be polite and let people hug or kiss them if it does not feel right.    

Parents also need to understand that not all strangers are bad people. 95% of sex crimes are by people you or your child will know. 
Also please let your child play outside. Crimes are not bad as the media would like for you to think.
There are 700,500 People on the register in the united state. If that was true that sex offender CAN'T be cure then there would be lots more kids and woman getting rape and touch.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

My son is home

Well it has been awhile. Lets see if I can bring you up to date.

First off. MY SON IS HOME!   He made parole and came home in January. He is living in the trailer we got him. We thought we got him a good one. But the heater won't work, and AC wont' come on. The oven is a hit and miss on working. AT least he can spent the day with my parents, who cook for him, Or he comes over to our house.  He had to wear the ankle monitor for 3 months. He got that off the other day. He is trying to find a job, which is hate since he can't get on the internet to look nor apply. My Mother or I have to do that for him.  It really makes not scene.  He can spend the whole day over at my mother's house or my house where we have a computer. He just can’t sleeps next to one.
My son had an interview with a big local chain to work the night time stocking crew. He is waiting to hear back from them. Please keep your finger and toes, pray to who every your God might be.  He really needs this. Not just for the money, but for the self confidence.

I swear the government has their heads up their ass. It is all about the money.  I'm going to throw some numbers out to you.
Based on these figures and on the approximate number of persons currently incarcerated in Arkansas.
 Our state SPENDS 24,400.00 PER inmate, per year.
If 500 inmates remain incarcerated because they have no halfway house that will accept them, or any place to live, and they have to prospects for work,
Just because they are on the registry
Arkansas WASTE at least 12,200,00.00  Each year.  Is there a better indicator as to why "the system" is failing?

Prison makes money. There has to be a better way. Can you imagine what kind of school we could have if just half of that was used for school?!!!!
I know... Let’s just say we do have that kind of money going to school, and then maybe the kids would get a great education, and not commit a crime. They would go to College and get jobs, maybe creates jobs or even become a normal ever day Joe that everyone loves.

I'm going to leave you with two stories:

Just one of the reason I fight this, is so another mother won't have to go through the pain like I have and still have. I got the phone call the other day. Same story. Son going to college, had porn on his computer, a normal great young man. And now another heartbroken mother. I feel like I'm too late. But I keep on fighting.

My husband just got back on a trip. While we were waiting on our plane to unload so we could get on. I notice a older man walk off with a Militate boy walking behind him.  I say boy because he didn't looked to be over the age of 19. I saw them check out where their next gate was. When the young man turned around. I will never forget his face, His hand were handcuffed to the front of him. He just stood there. I know he was embarrassed. And the DAMN older man I know could have done something to cover up the hand. The young man was in uniform, OH course we are going to look at him. I still get tearing eye as I think about this. The young men saw me looking at him. I put my two fingers to my lips as to send him a kiss and then I put them over my heart. Just to let him know I was on his side, and my heart went out to him. Course I could not help but think, that what he did was not that wrong, and could be forgiving.