Are you a Free Range person?

Are you a Free Range Person?   I am. 

Free-Range Kids is a commonsense approach to parenting in these overprotective times.

What is different today then yesterday? Yesterday as in 30/40 years ago. I could list all the nice thing we have now, computer, cell phones, better coffee markers etc; but I'm more interesting in what we left behind. The good old days. 

The day where you felt safe to leave your kids in the car while you paid for gas. You let your kids ride their bike to the local store to get candy and milk. Those are the days I'm talking about. 

The funny thing is nothing has change, we can still have those days. I was walking into the post office the other night; It was late, around 9:30 pm. I needed to check my P.O. Box. I parked the car and notice another car in the parking lot. My first thought was not to get out. Then I stop, a person is not going to be waiting at the post office for someone to jump on. So I went in. When I walked in a man was walking around, he asked me if I knew where the stamp machine was. "I don't think they have one here". Oh we'll then I guess I'll have to buy some tomorrow. I got my mail and left. I was not scared and I shouldn't be. The post office at 9:30 was/ is not a danger spot.  

So what has change? Crime is not worst now then it was years ago, so why are we so afraid to let our kids ride their bike?  I'll tell you. The media, How bad they want you to think it is.  

You watch the news, you find out that something has happen to ONE child, Now they make you think it happens all the time, but it’s one child out of thousands in the country. The news is the same every night, It would make one not want to leave the house or eat

Now stop a minute and think.

Has your house been broken into?

Has your car been stolen?

Have you been kidnap?

Do you know someone who has commented a crime?

DUI, Drugs, or a sex crimes?  The chances of you knowing someone who has commented a crime is probable higher then knowing someone who has been a victims of a crime. Why is this?, Because most crimes are not crimes, We just like to throw people in jail because we are “tough on Crimes”  We are arresting people left and right for what we would said is normal behavior years ago, or we would get help for that individual.

So tell me what are you afraid of?  I’m more afraid of committing a crime, then become a victim. 

But hey what do I know,, I don't work in the media.

MEN, can't live with them...

Men, why are they Important ?
I have giving this much thought. The simple answers is yes they are; but why am I asking the question? Another not so simple answer, media would have you think they are NOT important, that the truth is they are all a sexual predator.



You think that society knows that men are important but this same society fear Men in general., why,? because of what they hear from the media.
 What is going to happen when all our men are gone or in prison. Who will kills bugs for us.?

Parents are telling young kids that men are bad. What is going to happen to this kid,  when he grows up to become the man his mother warmed him about, or the girl who want to married a man?

With the woman movement, I believe, all woman really wanted was equal right in the works force. Now fast forward 44 years;  Woman,  have taken this too far, woman now want power over men, Not equal.  Woman have found this power being able to accuse a man of doing something  that he didn't do, just because she has found this new power.

 a blog, I came across.

Every kid need a male around, as a dad or as a role model. I could make a list as to why men are important , but I won't. You and I both know they are without me listing every detail big or small.

It sad when you hear that men are afraid to be around kids. These are men who have not been convective of any type of crime. The media has parents in such fear that we are losing Male teachers,  Male coaches, and boy scout leaders....even daddies to this fear. Men who are great men. Who can gives a kid something a woman can't.  Again not listing.

I'm ashamed to even call myself a woman., but I know I am not one of those woman who have taken the fear the media has been feeding me and used that fear to hurt the men in my life or the males in my kids life.

The way I see things woman have come so far. For every step forward we have taken, we are sending men backwards.

A nice person

I can't seem to get this story out of my mind.

  It is one that I have never heard of before: 

What they found on the computer was unlike anything some of the investigators had ever come across: graphic, online chats about his desire to abduct, kill and eat children. They said he had also made photos of a naked 2-year-old boy in a roasting pan inside his oven.

 This is just a short  part of the whole story. You really need the stomach to read the rest. The part that I can't get out of my head is how people will think, a person who looks at underage porn is doing this. When in reality,  less then 5% in our world would do something like this. The media will have you think "every Sex offender who looks at porn will do this"

Well the whole think just makes me sick. I have heard  stories from mothers about their sons. None of them did any thing like this.  Most young men who get caught with underage porn is from a peer to peer site. The young men were downloading music or videos, in the mix would be hiding pictures. Some of the young men did not know the pictures were on their computer, some did, but would delete them, and some young men would view the photos for the grossness of it.  I can understand this. Look at the TV, movies and videos game they play.

The above news article reminds me of Jerry Sandusky. You will have people think that everyone who has touch a child has touch hundreds of them. Which is not the truth. 

Bottom line. You have two types of people who comment a sex crime.

1. Sex offender ~Some one who has makes a bad decision or a mistake. There might have been a victim but no violence. Does not need treatment just needs a chance.
2. Sexual Predator ~Some one who grooms their victims, will have more then one victims over a period of time. Treatment might work. This person is the one we need to worry about.              

So who do you want behinds bars?  Sexual Predator

 Who do you want to stop wasting your tax paying money on? Nice person

Who do you want on the register?  Sexual Predator

Who would you give a second chance to?   A Nice person

 A nice person,  Has learned his lesson or was falsely accused, could be under the age of 19. This person does not want to be remember for his mistake, Want to become a part of society. 

 Don't let the media made you think 

 ever Sex offenders is a bad person, 

because they are not. 

95% are a nice person.

Read more here: http://www.heraldonline.com/2012/08/04/4164177/vast-international-child-porn.html#storylink=cpy

Met DAN

 I know I have not posted in a while. I don't really know what to say anymore, well let me change that, I do know what to say, it just that I have so much to say. I don 't know where to start. The other day I was reading on a group that I go to. This story was posted. It just broke my heart. The wife has given me permission to post her story. This story could be my son one day. It happen more then we know. I hope one day we can change the laws and make it much easier to live.

Met DAN:

It is so much the American dream to have a nice home on a big plot of land, your own truck that you owe nothing on, a nice car for your wife that is also paid off, a successful business that is sought after by many people and businesses with four people working under you depending on a weekly paycheck from products that they manufacture.

Then one day it is all gone! A retroactive law comes into place sentencing you again for a crime that you were punished for 20 years ago paying your debt to society back then. Now, you are forced to live under very strict restrictions and conditions, your constitutional rights trampled on and non-existent.

An opportunity arises to expand your business and you accept it. You invest thousands of dollars into the expansion. Then a technicality on an unclear and misinterpreted law forces you to spend thousands of dollars on a lawyer that the judge coerces you into obtaining. The lawyer does a great job by getting the four E felony counts knocked down to a misdemeanor as long as you plea to a way lesser charge and agree to 1 year probation. He assures you that everything will be fine.

Once you report for the first time to probation they swipe almost all your freedom from you. You are forced to wear a GPS devise on your ankle, you are no longer allowed to conduct your legal business in over 60% of the city, you are forced to pay a monthly fee and you give up your right to be the bread winner and financial supporter for your family.

As the days go on you have to sell your wife’s car just to pay bills then, before you know it, you have to sell your truck and buy a jalopy for as little as possible so you can take the rest to pay bills. When that money is gone, you no longer have anyone working for you so, you find yourself selling your equipment to be able to cover the checks you wrote to pay the utilities. Once most of the valuable equipment is sold off you get a foreclosure letter in the mail, the bank is foreclosing on your home in 90 days.

Lucky for you it is tax time! You get a little money back to be able to send your wife and children back home to your home state. You continue to struggle to put fuel in your jalopy while continuing your financial obligation for your family’s 2 bedroom apartment. Slowly you watch your utilities get cut off, first the cable and phone, then the electric, and finally the water. You are now living in a dark house at the end of June. You scrape up enough money to get a storage bin at the local storage facility. You make trip after trip after trip in your jalopy moving everything by yourself. Finally, you pick up the last of your clothes and other needed belongings and put them in your truck. You back out of your driveway onto the streets and you are now homeless.

You are thankful that your family is safe, at least for now. You cannot get a job even though you are well qualified for many positions because of the restrictions and conditions that you have to live under. You begin to do whatever odd jobs you can just to be able to pay the rent at your family’s apartment. Leaving yourself just enough money to put a little fuel into your jalopy that now needs tires and brakes, there’s a real bad knocking among smoking out the tail pipe. Your friends offer you to stay with them but by law you must refuse because they have children.

You find yourself hoping that prepaid cell phone would ring and a friend would offer you to take you out to eat. You find out quickly that bread, raw hot dogs and a gallon of warm water is not the best diet.

You have six weeks left of probation. Then you can take whatever money you have left over after all the bills for the family are paid and hopefully drive your jalopy in its poor condition 2000 miles back home to be with your family again. But those six weeks seem to last and last because you cannot find any work, so you cannot make any money, the front seat of your truck is beginning to wreak of your body odor, all your clothes are now dirty and smelly, you haven’t shaved in weeks and the only bathing you get is the river after dark so no one can see you. Soap and shampoo are out of the question, you just can’t afford it.

A friend tells you about two men’s shelters, you become excited with anticipation only to find out that they are both in the restricted area. You sit around in empty parking lots in the middle of summer that you know are in your safe zones. The police begin to patrol the parking lots frequently and you become paranoid because you could not pay your insurance and it has been canceled. You begin to think, “Where can I go now?”

You can’t go to the mall because they have a playground inside. You can’t sit outside Target it is too close to Toys R Us. You can’t sit in the shade in front of Wal-Mart it is across from the YMCA. You cannot go to your old church because they have day care on the premises. You drive around on what little fuel you have and an aching stomach that is begging for food hoping to find a place to sit for a few hours and get some sleep but the temperature is 98 degrees. You are almost out of fuel so you stop on the side of the road in a small clearing, the breeze is feeling pretty good you put your head back and close your eyes.

Suddenly you are awoken by a man telling you to get off his property before he calls the cops. You have no money, no food, no fuel and no dignity anymore because people with the state and county offices need jobs to support their families and you and your family are considered a casualty of the system.





Now do you believe this man needs to keep paying for what ever he did 20 years ago? How do we as a Society want this man to integrate back into socitey when we make it so hard for him just to stay alive?
What about his family? Why do they have to pay for what he did? They love him and want him to a part of the family, If they "the family" believes in him, why can't we?
So many question. WHY is this happening to this wonderful family? It just breaks my heart.

A fine line

 A fine line

There is a fine line between someone you can trust and someone you can't, As far as sex offender are concern some people think none can be trusted. Until you know someone who is a sex offender or it’s you. That is when you understand there is a different. Some of these people just don’t want to trust someone who has made a mistake. I wish to tell those people. 

“I hope a love one never misses up, if you can’t forgive someone, and then you are destined to live alone.

I have met a lot of sex offenders, in person and online. If you are a sex offender or your love one is and you are in this fight with me, then you see the wrong with the system. You truly believe that you have paid your price and you won’t do it again. If I don't met you but a love one of your believes in you, then so do I.  I just don’t understand why other don’t believe in you also. 

We need more people like me, a person who is willing to over look what you did and give you a second chance. 

I was thinking the other day. (I know, I could hurt myself by doing that) When I was a kid, if I did something I wasn’t suppose to do that. I got spanked. I learned real quickly not to that again. As I grow up, I would have been in real trouble with my parents. They would set me down and tell me what I did wrong. As a child you never want to have your parents mad at you. When I became a teenager, I would get my car taken away. (If they found out (wink) but I learned. It didn’t take me a day to learn this lesson, or weeks, or months or even years. Just someone pointing it out to me was enough.

 “Hey don’t do that you could get hurt, or “as parents we don’t want you doing that…etc”

So why is it that when we have young people messing up for the first time. Get sent to prison for years? Now I’m not saying that my son should NOT have gone to prison. (I will say that the two night he spend in county jail was enough to knock the devil out of him) If I say anyone who views underage porn should only get 2 nights in jail. My house would be torched. 

 Why can’t we give people the help they need? 

How many times do I have to say that?

Someone who does drugs is messing up their life, unless they sell it. Someone who drinks, unless they hurt or kill someone. Then maybe send that person to prison for life. Underage porn~ some will argue on the victims. I understand that.

What is the different between doing drug and looking at pictures? 

If you do drugs (look at porn)~ you never sell drugs (porn), you don’t make the drugs (porn), and you just use the drugs (porn).

 If you get caught with drugs ~ you get a short sentence or just a fine. Look at porn and you get 5 years or more.  

 Now if you sell the porn (drugs), take the pictures of the porn (make the drugs). Now to me this is bad. I know I will have someone tell them that is like comparing apple to oranges.. 

Is it really? I don’t think so.

Did you know there are over 200 ways to comment sex crimes? Makes you wonder if you have already commented one and didn’t know it. 

When was the last time you peed in public? I was Geocaching with my husband when I needed to go. When you need to go, you need to go. I did it out in the woods where no one saw me. I guess someone could have. I would never know unless they choose to turn me in for public nudity. That person could send me to prison or just giggle and wave. 

 A lot of sex crimes are the same way. What we would have overlooked years ago, we looked at different now.

 How many of us had sex with someone under the age of 18? Well don't ask me. I'll never tell. So many of our young adult do. All it takes is a ex-girl friend, a,  parents who does not approve of the relationship. Now back in my day. My parents would of talked to me about the boy. (and they did)  but they did not call the cops on him. So why are we now? Some don't realize the consequences of what will happen to the young man.

 

I have a pen pal who has told me he is a pedophile. I have learned a lot from him. Before you go on to tell me how a pedophile can wiggle their way into your heart and make you think they are cured. Well I don’t have an answer to that. 

He is a smart man. He is the same ages as me. What he did to get into prison, was not by touching a child. It was a 17 year old boy. Too me, that different. He has been in prison for 22 years. He has told me he loves kids. He has always been that way. He knows it’s wrong, and has never acted on it. He has been in all kinds of help group before he got sent to prison.

 I have read a lot on this subject so that I can understand the different between a sex offender and a pedophile. A 2012 study from CT found a 2.7 % re-offending rates for Sex offenders. A pedophile has a rate of ~well the statistics does not show that. Why? All sex crimes are under one crime. 

If I was to guess~ I would say that a pedophile is about the whole 2.7% And the sex offender who crimes are just one time mistake is 0%.

 But hey no one has asked me. 

I would also like to point out the different. Between a true pedophile and a person who made a very bad choose.  I do know some Sex offender that would be class as a pedophile. They have touched their own child. I am not sure as to why they did this. After talking to some, I don’t have answers as I have never asked.

 Since I have talk to some of these men, they give me the sense they have learn to hold back those urges. 

Do I think they need help? Yes.   

Are they getting any? NO 

They are setting in prison wasting away. Wanted to go home to their family who are waiting for them. This lets me know, that if the family wants them back home, they have forgiven the man.

 So why can’t the rest of us.

A true Pedophile~ someone who does not care if they ever change, Someone who want to harm a child and has over and over again. A person who can’t be change. I don’t want to say that this person needs to be lock up for life, yes and no. I think it would be better to lock them up in a mental hospital. There is a group in Canada studying pedophile. Like them, I think they are born this way. Just like someone who is born gay. You can’t change how they are but you can over look that they are not that much different then you are. They just want to “love” someone that you can’t seem to wrap your head around. I don’t have a problem with someone being gay. Yes I do have a problem with someone who wants to harm and love a child. At the same time, if this study come back saying they are wired that way. Then I can understand. I’m not saying that since they are wired that way they should be let lose in our society. I am not saying, that we should over look this like we have done with gays. Since we can’t fix it and it is wired into them. 

Should we lock them up for being them self?

My thought on the matter

My thought on the Matter. 

When do you come to the end? The end where you can't make any more law that will start taken away people right. When does that end? I say NOW.

Washington and the States keep passing laws that just don't make sense. "they" want to pass laws where you can't texting and drive., I get that, but texting is just ONE think that we should not be doing, How about NOT playing with the radio? I have been text driving new cars. Have you seem all the new bottoms on a new car?  How about when you just have so much on your mind that you zone out. Can we pass a law on that? How about you tell me that texting while driving COULD harm me. I will hear you and do what I want. If I want to text then I will, (I don't)  If I want to wear a seat-belt, or a helmet, If I want to put preparation H in my month, or put HOT coffee between my leg. Then let me do it. I know I could get hurt, and I guess texting might hurt someone else. I get that. But the Government is treating us like we are little kids that need to be told what to do. Well I'm tried of it!

Tennessee just passed a law where you can't hold hands, that might lead to sex and we can't have that now can we. So when does it end? 

A little boy in kindergarten can't wiggle or sing to "I'm sexy and I know it” without getting in trouble. Does he even understand why he got in trouble? I'm pretty sure he does not, but he does now and he is too young to be told why.

We have so many legislator wanted to make a name for them self, so they make up law to get them notice.  Case in point~ State Representative Jon Woods is now running for State Senate he has already come across as trying to make it tougher laws for sex offenders. We don’t need to be tougher on sex crimes when only 5% of them re-offended. 95% of sex crimes are commented by NON sex offender. So how can you make a law to protect kids against someone who has not been caught yet?  Parents need to educate their kids.

Which lead me to the Parents.

Parents think the laws are working. As Parents we have gone either two way. Real relax  or over the top. You either don't worry about you kid, Because you think the laws are out there to protect. Or you over protect, you wrap your kid in bubble wrap. You tell your kids so much that they are scared of their own shadow.  YOU need to watch who your kids hangs out with, Who is on their Facebook, Who are their friends. Why do they not like Coach Smith? You need to talk and find out.

 You don't want to give your young child too much information that might make them scared and take away their innocent. You do need to tell them that if someone touches them on their penis or vagina. You need to use the words not “inappropriate place". Kids might not understand that. 

1. Remind children: Safe grownups don't ask kids for help. They ask other grownups when they need assistance.

2. Replace the word “stranger” with the “tricker person””: It's not what someone looks like, it's what they say or want to do with a child that makes the person unsafe or “tricky.”

3. A tricky person can be someone you know well, don't know at all, or know just a little bit (mailman, ice cream man). Anyone who tries to get a child to break a safety rule or hurt a child is not okay.

4. Practice personal safety strategies with your kids. For example, practice what they should do if they are lost in a store. Teach them to freeze and yell or find a mom with children and ask her for help. What they should do or say if someone asked them for directions or asked for assistance.

5. Talk about “the uh-oh feeling”: Teach them to trust their instincts.

6. Establish a straightforward family rule: No secrets allowed, especially if it involves another adult.

7. Teach them they are the boss of their own bodies!

8. Teach them their name, address, and phone numbers (including cell phones), parents names.

9. Teach them to NEVER go anywhere or take ANYTHING from someone they do not know.

10. Teach them to “check first” with my safe grownups for permission before they go anywhere, change their plans, or get into a car, even when it is someone they know.

11. Teach them about private body parts and that no one should touch them their except for toileting or a doctor.

12. Teach them they do not have to be polite and let people hug or kiss them if it does not feel right.    

Parents also need to understand that not all strangers are bad people. 95% of sex crimes are by people you or your child will know. 

Also please let your child play outside. Crimes are not bad as the media would like for you to think.

There are 700,500 People on the register in the united state. If that was true that sex offender CAN'T be cure then there would be lots more kids and woman getting rape and touch.

My son is home

Well it has been awhile. Lets see if I can bring you up to date.

First off. MY SON IS HOME!   He made parole and came home in January. He is living in the trailer we got him. We thought we got him a good one. But the heater won't work, and AC wont' come on. The oven is a hit and miss on working. AT least he can spent the day with my parents, who cook for him, Or he comes over to our house.  He had to wear the ankle monitor for 3 months. He got that off the other day. He is trying to find a job, which is hate since he can't get on the internet to look nor apply. My Mother or I have to do that for him.  It really makes not scene.  He can spend the whole day over at my mother's house or my house where we have a computer. He just can’t sleeps next to one.
My son had an interview with a big local chain to work the night time stocking crew. He is waiting to hear back from them. Please keep your finger and toes, pray to who every your God might be.  He really needs this. Not just for the money, but for the self confidence.

I swear the government has their heads up their ass. It is all about the money.  I'm going to throw some numbers out to you.
Based on these figures and on the approximate number of persons currently incarcerated in Arkansas.
 Our state SPENDS 24,400.00 PER inmate, per year.
If 500 inmates remain incarcerated because they have no halfway house that will accept them, or any place to live, and they have to prospects for work,
Just because they are on the registry
Arkansas WASTE at least 12,200,00.00  Each year.  Is there a better indicator as to why "the system" is failing?

Prison makes money. There has to be a better way. Can you imagine what kind of school we could have if just half of that was used for school?!!!!
I know... Let’s just say we do have that kind of money going to school, and then maybe the kids would get a great education, and not commit a crime. They would go to College and get jobs, maybe creates jobs or even become a normal ever day Joe that everyone loves.

I'm going to leave you with two stories:

Just one of the reason I fight this, is so another mother won't have to go through the pain like I have and still have. I got the phone call the other day. Same story. Son going to college, had porn on his computer, a normal great young man. And now another heartbroken mother. I feel like I'm too late. But I keep on fighting.

My husband just got back on a trip. While we were waiting on our plane to unload so we could get on. I notice a older man walk off with a Militate boy walking behind him.  I say boy because he didn't looked to be over the age of 19. I saw them check out where their next gate was. When the young man turned around. I will never forget his face, His hand were handcuffed to the front of him. He just stood there. I know he was embarrassed. And the DAMN older man I know could have done something to cover up the hand. The young man was in uniform, OH course we are going to look at him. I still get tearing eye as I think about this. The young men saw me looking at him. I put my two fingers to my lips as to send him a kiss and then I put them over my heart. Just to let him know I was on his side, and my heart went out to him. Course I could not help but think, that what he did was not that wrong, and could be forgiving.