UpDate

With swollen eyes, as I write this blog tonight. It has not been a good day for me.

This will be a different blog, as I am not going to write about how much I hate or what is wrong with the laws.

I am going to start with today and work backwards.

Today I got the email that I did not want to received but the one my son has been hoping for. He is now been move from County Jail to what they call a  The Diagnostic Unit in Pine Bluff.  They will ask him questions and run test on him. He could be there 7 to 14 days. He can't call us, he gets to write one letter to us.  This is one more step closer to Prison.

I found out two things today, 1. He would of gotten to wear his regular clothes but we took them. So not sure what he wore, I know he has two white t-shirts and 2 pairs of underwear. This is what he might have wore out of there. NO shoes,  I am not sure on this. I hope they gave him something for his feet and pants.        
2. I called a lady today to see what I could find out about his money and mail. After talking to her I  find out that Malvern Prison is the only Prison in AR with the RSVP Program. My son has to take this program. He can't get out until he completes it. I am fine with that. BUT there is a waiting list, and since my son Has to take the program, his name will go to the top of the list. That still doesn't mean much. Since there is a waiting list he might have to go to another prison while he waits for room to open up in Malvern.  I don't like that part. Malvern is mostly S.O. they will not judge my son there. Any other prison he might run into trouble. That the part I am worry about.

I am trying to put this all in Perspective. I just found out that an acquaintance of my has breast cancer. A friend of our from MS has internal bleeding and they don't know why or where its coming from.  An old friend of my just lost her Mother (who I also knew) ,  I know it could be worst, So again I am thankful that my son is alive and safe. I still wish he was home.

The Other 4 people I talk about who are also fighting this. I can now add a fifth one. I have not met him yet but he is also a S.O. I have talk to him by email. I can't wait to met him. The 6 of us have been doing a lot of emailing back and forth. We all seem to have our strong area that we work on. One of the ladies is working on research for a booklet so we can hand out, or mail out. The Other lady (the one who wrote the book) she an graphs artist . She is working on a new design for us. Our Arkansas group is called "Time after Time".  http://www.reformsexoffenderlaws.org/index.php   The head guy, who got this group going, Just got us a spot on the  radio. He will have a hour once a week to talk about what is going on. If he can't talk then one of us, or a guest will be on the show. We are all very excited about this.
 http://www.kabf.org/      "The Voice of the People"  

I need to be writing my new letter to the 40 plus people about getting a committee together. but my heart has not been there, And with that I feel like I am letting my son down. It not that I have so much on my plate, but I try to get a letter out to my son at least every other day, but I spend so much time online looking for stuff to send him. Then add house work on top of that, And I try to play with my clay and knitting,  I really need a chance to just set down and read about the laws, and see the numbers, So I can better understand what I am about to write. Its time like this, I really wish I was smart.

I almost forgot, I did write a short letter to three magazine about How I wish they would look into the laws. When I went to MORE magazine online they had a story  http://www.more.com/sex-addict-interview  So it was the prefect time for me to write to them, I told them how much I love the story, a short sentence about my story and how I would love to see more about this. I have not heard any thing, But it was a step.

I have to write about the last letter I got from my son. This was the last part of his letter.

Love you! Miss You! and my bed, papa and Meme and my Grandma,   real food, a nice chair, the house, music, Russellville, Mom making a mess out of yarn, the pets, a fan, a light switches, email, real clothes, Privacy, Ice, School, Work, Fixing everyone computer,  video games,  my room,  grass,  Mowing,  Hell I even miss chores!

That was very hard for us to read.

ONE Big step for me

So this should be different, I usually lay in bed with my iPhone typing out my blog because I lay there and start thinking. Tonight I am up and at the computer. I feel so important. LOL

Today I got to see my son for the first time in 14 days. I had to skip last week as we were out of State. Since we have seen him, The Jail offer free hair cuts. You could get no guard on the shaver or a number one. He went with none. He has no hair!!!  He hates it and will let it grow. Thank goodness, If you know my son, imaging him with a beard and no hair.

Got a phone call yesterday morning from R.J. the Senator. Remember he is the one who wants me to talk in front of the committee.  After talking to his office, Not him.. the guy thought I  wanted to talk about the laws that are setting on the Governor desk. I had to explained to him that what I want is for someone to look at the laws for S.O. and make some changes. One size does not fit all.  After I went into more detail about this. He understood. He told me that Congress will not be making any new laws until 2013. They do this ever other year (odd years) the even years are finishing up the law they work on the in the year pass.

Now I wish I had paid more attention in High School. This is about all I know:
I'm just a bill.
Yes, I'm only a bill.
And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill.
Well, it's a long, long journey
To the capital city.
It's a long, long wait
While I'm sitting in committee,
But I know I'll be a law someday
At least I hope and pray that I will,
But today I am still just a bill.

Now that you have that song in your head. You can thank me later. =)

Back to the phone call: The "office" was real nice guy. He understood what I  wanted done and had read my e-mail and so has the Senator. He would talk to R.J. about what they could do. He told me that R.J. might want to get a committee started. One that would look more into the laws and see what could be change.  He has my email and number. I told him I was going to St. Louis in August and would be learning more.

So this is where I am at now. There is no since in me writing letter once a week, since they can't do any thing until 2013, So what I am going to do is write about once a month, and tell them about getting a committee started, They have 1 1/2 years to do this.

I am calling this ONE Big step in the right direction. Now where is my beer?



they'll never know
if you don't let it out
You have enough
They'll call your bluff
You can't back down lost in a crowd
You've won the right to scream and shout
They'll talk about
You've lost your cool
There is no boy who makes the rules
So let's get to it
Now you'll do it
Break out
Scream and shout
Scream and shout
Scream and shout
Scream and shout

PASSION?!

I need to be going to sleep but with jet lag and being in Alaska with a three hour different; well here I lay awake. With vacation over I am laying here thinking about my son and how much he was missed on this vacation. He would of loved Alaska. We had on layer, he would of had on shorts. He is like a walking heater. You can touch him and feel the heat. He would hold my hands sometime to keep them warm and to cool him off. Sure did miss my heater. Tonight I have been thinking. Too much sometimes.

I'm on Facebook, there isn't a day that goes by that someone is asking for people to pray for someone. Which is fine. What I'm thinking about is "passion" for another person you don't know. You could be ask to pray for a third cousin's great uncle who has just found out he has cancer. You don't know this Uncle put can relate to the pain the family must be going through; because you know someone with cancer. Passion for a stranger. That is great. I love passion for other people that what makes this a great world we live in.

If I were to get on Facebook and ask for everyone to pray for the distant Uncle, he just
got put in prison for being a sex offender. You would be nice and pray but you might not have the same passion for this unknown person. You can't relate.

That is why I lay awake at night trying to find a new way for my voice to be heard. So you can relate and have passion to make a change.

I want to scream.

I am not a smart person. I need to see not read to understand stuff. What I am good at is common sense or at least I think I am. Trying to read and understand what is going on with the laws and rules is very hard for me. To make it better for me, I try to read stories about what other people are going through.

So why do I want to scream.? After much thinking this is what I understand and am trying to come to terms with.

The law is trying to catch the bad guy before he does something bad. I understand that. But that leaves us with a bunch of whistle blowers. They call the cops. Even if the cops do let the guy go free. It has already made the news. He's mark! This is wrong,

We have giving the public this much power. Which is good in a way if we don't over use it. But we have. At the same time it would be nice if we had someone at the police station to say " STOP. This isn't right". The cops are just afraid of letting the guy go, because he might do something bad.

Now I say all of this because if I can see and understand what is going on why can't the smart people who can make a different!!!!.

That is why I want to scream. If I can understand where we are going as a country why can't the people we vote in?

Another thing I have to come to terms with. What my son did was bad. He is going to have to live with this for the rest of his life. Everyone in his family will have to live with it. One day I won't be safe in my own house if he moves in with us. Not from him but from the over protective people or the ones who take the law in their on hands. All the letters I send out will not help my son. It might a little bit but the one who will benefit the most from my fighting is the one who peed by the street. Who had sex with their under age girlfriend etc. The one who didn't do anything bad to the public eyes. Since I feel so strongly about this I will keep on fighting this, just in case it does help my son but also to save another mother from going though this with her son.

Another thing: if the authorities are going to put the info on the Internet of what the SO did so your neighbor can see. Think about this. Let say the SO was 19 , the girlfriend was 16. You are now a sex offender on the list. Go forward 20 years. The SO is still on the list. They put a new picture of the SO on the page every year. What the page will say is that the SO had sex with a minor. That's all. It does not say the SO was 19 at the time and she was the SO's GF. The pubic see a 29 year old who had sex with a 16 year. And they will think it happen yesterday. That is what going on in their head.

Another way the law is not working the way it should.